10-14-1940

Zusammenfassung:

Martin Marx, bereits verlobt mit Mitzi Hesky, schreibt an seinen Vater einen ebenso einfühlsamen wie bestimmten und tröstlichen Brief, dass er Mitzi gegen alle elterlichen Bedenken heiraten werde. Die schon durchlebten Wartezeiten, um den finanziellen Vorbehalten der beiderseitigen Eltern Rechnung zu tragen, seien angesichts ihrer beider gegenseitigen Liebe lang genug erlitten und keineswegs weiter sinnvoll zu ertragen, zumal die Zeitläufte vergangenen Erwartungen an Sicherheit und Glück nicht mehr standhielten.

Die Ehe und Haushaltsgründung mit doppeltem Erwerbseinkommen biete schließlich auch Vorteile für den zu erwartenden Aufenthalt für Schwester Hede und seinen Vater in den U.S.A. und befreie ihn selbst, (zunächst) vom Militärdienst

Dear Father,

The day before yesterday was Yom Kippur, a beautiful autumn day that was even more beautiful for me, as I turned the Day of Atonement into my Engagement Day…

I know my dear Father that you have some objections, just like Mitzi’s parents, mostly of financial nature. But please try to understand that those days when, in order to even think of marrying, one had to have a bank account or a secure position, are over. The Yom Kippur talk has left a profound impression on me. The Rabbi spoke about the two main drives of human beings, the need for happiness and the need for security. We have never experienced a less secure time such as now, and money as a means to security has become most questionable, as many of us have learned first-hand. The love of a person is so much more important than money, of a person who stays with you for better, for worse, who doubles your joy and shares your troubles.

You will surely say: I believe that you like each other, but you will both find another one to love. Don’t see each other for a month, a half a year, or a year, and you will forget all about it.

Well, we tried this, two times, last year and this year. We barely saw one another since January, we tried to meet other people; other suitors with better finances were introduced to Mitzi, even from New York. We tried to act like “responsible children” but it did not help. We could not manage without one another, and no attempt to convince ourselves of the opposite has worked. I do not believe that I could ever find anybody who would mean so much as Mitzi to me. Our situation sounds just like that of my friend Paul Basinger, who met his current wife six years ago, they broke up three or four times (meanwhile he dated a dozen other girls), but he again and again returned to Susan, until this summer they got married, even though the parents there also objected (The father was hospitalized back then as a brick fell on his head).

But back to us: We realized that we cannot break up, as we always get back together, after shorter or longer time, and that we cannot continue doing this, as we only upset one another. This marriage does not at all change the fact that I know my responsibilities to you and Hede all too well. As you are aware, my savings belong to you. And the two of us can live on what we two earn. Two further points: Firstly, if I get married, I will not have to join the military which should be very reassuring to you two, that I will be there when you arrive. Secondly, by that time, we will have a proper home and Mitzi will do everything to make you feel at home there. Perhaps you think I am biased towards her, but all the people who know her know what a rare sweet, helpful and generous person she is. This is the very reason why her parents find it so hard to be left behind by their favourite child (she has a married sister and a single brother). I had a very hard time to leave her yesterday. But her father and I talked and agreed that a marriage is the best solution for us. About the family: a good “noble” one from Munich, I will write to you later about them.

I hope, dear father, that you understand me and I am sure you will agree with my choice once you get to meet Mitzi.

I have not talked to anyone about our engagement as the American relatives do not need to know about it yet.

I enclose a letter from Uncle Salomon and the Nachmann’s that was brought to me by Job today. By the way, the Nachmann’s indicated that Ruth would soon get engaged.

Give my greetings to all and stay healthy.